My Inspiration.

I won't apologize this time for not updating this thing.. there has been good reason. Is it because I have had nothing to say? Not even close. There has simply been too much happening that is too personal to share on an open forum like this one. But a couple days ago something happened and it has been heavy on my mind to write about it. "It" being more or less everything that has been swirling in my mind and in my heart. So here goes..

This may be harder than I thought... I sit here and I know what I want to say but unsure how best to write it coherently. This is about my daughter.

Fast forward a few weeks.. ya I let that top part simmer for that long. Going to attempt to finish.

A few weeks ago we went to Bullwinkle's Family Fun.. cool place I hadn't been there before. While we were there Alissa saw the rope walk and insisted she needed to do it. I took one look and thought to myself, "I couldn't do that and I'm 32." If you haven't seen it before.. you basically do an obstacle course way up high strapped into a harness in case you fall so you don't break your neck. Not my idea of fun but she really wanted to do it. So we checked and she made the height requirement (barely) so we strapped her safety harness on and away she went. As I watched my little girl up there I was a bit nervous.. and then she got 3/4 of the way and was about to hit a new obstacle and she froze. From below I saw the fear in her eyes and she started to cry. She was alone up there and facing two more obstacles before it was over. She looked down at me.. and said, "Momma I can't do it." .. and my reply? "You have to... there is no other way down." And that's when I saw it.. that's when it all became so clear. My frightened little girl took a deep breathe, wiped her eyes, and she took another step.. and then another. And she made it. And I knew beyond a doubt that no matter what life threw her way.. she would take a deep breathe, wipe her eyes.. and always take that step. I have never been more proud or more in awe of my child and her strength. Here I am the teacher.. and she was teaching me..showing me. That she would be okay. And I sat at home with my head in my hands remembering not too long before standing in my mom's kitchen and thinking.."Momma I can't do it." And now, thanks to my incredibly brave, unique, and amazing daughter..I have chosen to follow her example. I am going to put one foot in front of the other. I have to.. there is no other way.

I love you Alissa.

We will do this together baby.. one step at a time.