The joys of inducing vomit 101. Read at your own risk..

"PUKE PORKY PUUUUUUKE!!!" .. ok so maybe that's not what this kid was saying, but it is pretty darn close to what I was saying about an hour ago. So I made it through two babies and seven years of having children without ever needing to induce vomiting. Pretty good track record isn't it? And how you might ask did this track record get broken??? I am pleased to announce it was not my children. Came home from church today and instantly noticed something just wasn't quite right about our Dachshund Pancake.. she was flippin HUGE. As in, bloated.. massive.. what the hay?? I look over and see that her buddy and partner in crime did something I don't believe she has EVER done in her 9 years.. she knocked over the trash can. And lucky me.. we had chicken last night. You see where this is going don't you? There was also an assortment of who-knows-what in that trash can and frankly I had no idea what Pancake did or did not eat. So, trusting my gut I go to my medicine cabinet.. dig WAY in the back.. and found my "POISON EMERGENCY KIT" that I bought when Alissa was born. Ya.. that was 7 years ago. I checked and it says it expired in 2005. Well heck.. 6 years expired.. whats the worse thing? Ipecac doesn't work? It's just the dog lets give it a try. So I go online where it tells me to administer 1 tsp per 10 pounds of body weigh. That means 1 tsp for our little Pancake. So Matt holds her and I use a baby medicine dropper to squirt it down her throat....and then we wait. And wait.. and wait. It appears Ipecac does indeed expire because although she snorted a few times..no vomit. Next I hit up the ol' internet where it tells my to put 1/2 teaspoon salt on the back of her tongue. I went and grabbed the salt, and poured out 1/4 teaspoon. I mean lets get real here that's a LOT of salt! I would puke. So again Matt holds her, I dump the salt on the back of her tongue. And we watch. And wait...and wait...aaaaand.. no vomit. REALLY?! Ok.. time for the big guns. Last option (per my handy resource) is hydrogen peroxide. If this doesn't work we are sunk. So I grab the bottle, measure out the 1 teaspoon instructed.. Matt holds her down.. I squirt it down her throat..aaaaand... INSTANT success!!! VOMIT!!! I do the happy vomit dance (ok not really) while we watch her hark up stupid amounts of bread and..yep..chicken. A whole pile of chicken bones. Now in hind sight that may not have been the best thing having chicken bones come back up as we risked the whole sharp object coming up the esophagus.. but under the circumstances I'm glad we did and all that isn't going to make it's way through her intestines. Did we do the right thing? Jeez I hope so.. Was it a cluster? Yes you bet. But Pancake looks much better, and can now run properly. She was so fat, I kid you not, that she would run and then roll over because her short little legs couldn't hold up her girth.
Moral of the story = Big dogs helping little dogs into trash cans is bad. Syrup of Ipecac does expire. Salt doesn't do squat. And hydrogen peroxide is the most useful substance on the planet. Oh, and chicken bones should go into the trash outside right away. I have learned a lot this afternoon. Thanks Pancake.